Sora, no wait, Dora the Explorer!
by Riku Lee
Summary: Oh yeah! It's another Dora the Explorer bashing! For some reason Sora, Kairi, and Riku are part of the adventure. I'm writing it, you sit there and LAUGH.


Disclaimer: I do not own Dora the Explorer… No matter how much fun I may have with her… Hang on, that sounds bad. What I meant was--

Author's note: After decades of suffering The Hyper Al Bhed Jokester, now Riku Lee, has returned with another parody of Dora the Explorer. I bet you're all ignoring this message but I'm going to continue like you're actually reading this anyway. In my opinion, people _should_ watch Dora the Explorer. You get to learn things like… _Spanish_ and… counting in _Spanish, _communicating with animals in _Spanish_, and such. It's very educational, huh? As if.

So let me, Lee, make "learning" with Dora more enjoyable for you!

- Riku Lee

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**Episode 1:** Dora makes a cake for Mother's Day!

(For now, everything italicized is the Opening song for Dora the Explorer...)

-Insert Dora's opening theme song.-

"_D-D-D-Dora!_"

-The camera moves around the house and ends up at the computer screen.-

"_All right_!" yelled a girl in the computer screen.

"_D-D-D-Dora_!"

"I'm SORA! Not Dora!" yelled a boy with spikey brown hair. He then pouted and crossed his arms. "Everyone knows that Dora's a girly name…"

Dora giggles.

"_D-D-D-Dora! D-D-D-Dora!_"

"_Let's go!_" shouts Dora.

"_Dora Dora Dora the Explorer!_"

Sora covered his ears and tried in vain to search for where the music came from. "AAH! Stop calling me Dora! My name is **SORA**! I'm not even an explorer! I'm a boy!"

"DORA!"

Sora glared at a tree that was smiling at him. "If I knew where that music's coming from... I'm going to beat them up so badly with my sword..."

"_Bootz is super cool!_--"

"I'm not wearing boots! I'm wearing shoes! Mum says I have to wear really big ones because when I grow too fast and won't outgrow these easily!" yelled Sora at the tree. He couldn't find anything else to yell at.

"-- _Explore with Dora_!"

"_Grab your backpack_!" yelled Dora.

"I don't have one!" wailed Sora.

"_Let's go!_"

"WHERE? Mum says I'm not supposed to follow strangers!"

"_Jump in!_"

"...where?" asked a clueless Sora.

"_Vamonos!_"

"Hey! Just cuz I can't understand whatever it is you're trying to tell me doesn't mean you have to say bad words..." Sora looked around himself once more to find the incredible annoying girl who loved to sing. "I'm telling my mum on you!"

"_Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping! (Oh man!) Dora the Explorer!"_

"For the last time, I'm SORA!"

_Okay, song's over. That wasn't so bad, wasn't it? Everything italicized starting from here will be me, the author, speaking._

"Hola! My name is Dora!" screams a little kid with a not-so-little head.

"…and I'm Bootz!" screams the monkey, who happened to be beside her.

"...Sora, where are we?" asks kiddy Riku, looking around him.

Sora shrugged. "I don't know! Let's ask the freaky girl with the big head over there."

"Uh, Sora… Her name's Dora." pointed out kiddy Kairi.

"Oh my! Did YOU hear something?" asked Dora to the people outside of the computer screen, in other words: you guys. After 'asking' this question, as usual her voice is many decibels above the average ones, she turns to Bootz.

"Did you hear something, Bootz?"

"Yeah… I wonder where it came from!" said Bootz in a _very_ "convincing" voice that he was indeed, wondering where it came from.

_He only has one tone in speaking… what can you expect?_

All of a sudden, an inverted blue cursor comes out of nowhere and clicks on Sora.

"OH! That's where the sound came from! What are YOUR names?" asked Dora, tilting her humongous head so that she could face them.

"…I kept telling you my name's Sora." pouted Sora once more, rubbing his stomach. It must feel weird to be clicked on.

"_I'm_ Riku!" The little kid with silver hair jabbed a thumb at his chest.

"And I'm Kairi!" The little kid with short red hair waved happily at Dora.

"WOW! WE HAVE NEW FRIENDS!" Dora screams at the computer screen.

"Oh oh ah ah!" Bootz cried, attempting to sound like a monkey.

_He **is** a monkey and he can't even sound like one… Sad._

The KH trio blinked and shrugged it off.

"Do you want to come with us!" asked Dora.

"Do we have to?" asked Riku, linking his fingers behind his head. He raised an eyebrow. One can already tell he _does not_ trust Dora. She's too… crazy.

"Hey, it could be fun!" Kairi said with a huge grin plastered on her face. She only did this to convince the boys. Maybe Dora was the most "harmless creature" in this place. Who knew what other crazy things could be here?

"…Maybe we'll find a doorway out of this world." Sora said thoughtfully.

"Great! We need to find chocolate, nuts, and bananas! My papa's making a cake for my mama and he sent me out of the house to look for the ingredients! I know! Let's call the map!" was Dora's response.

"Say map! Say map!" demanded Bootz.

"Mop, meep, moogle… Oops, I can't seem to say it." Riku drawled, rolling his eyes.

"What happens if we say map?" asked Kairi, tilting her head.

"You just said it, Kairi…" Sora pointed out.

Dora's back was turned and the map suddenly popped out of the backpack.

_I hate this part…_

"If there's a place you wanna go, I'm the one you need to know, I'm the map! I'm the map! I'm the map! If there's a place you gotta get, I can take you there I bet! I'm the map! I'm the map! I'm the map! I'm the map! I'm the map! I'm the map! I'm the map! I'm the map! I'm the map! I'm the map! I'm the map! I'm the map!"

_If you're wondering how I know the songs... just go and search it. I find it scary that there's a site with lyrics for Dora the Explorer. O.o;;_

Then…

"HEY! Dora's going to make a cake for her mother! She needs to find all the ingredients in **The Supermarket**! To get there, she needs to pass 3 blocks going north, then 3 blocks going south, then she has to walk in the direction that is 175 degrees from the direction she is facing by then, then continue to walk towards my house until she is inches within reach of the wall of my house, then right before she bumps into it she must turn left, then right, then two lefts, then turn around 3 times and do the hokey-pokey, then she has to pass-by** 7 – 11 **and buy Lee a slurpee, go to Tsim Sha Tsui St. and throw stones at the Kumon Centre there, go to Fu Ning St. and greet all the happy students of C.A.I.S, walk back by retracing her steps in getting in the alternate world in the first place, walk by **The World That Never Was**, go to the doctor since you've managed to enter a place that never existed, and _finally_ you reach **The Supermarket**! Did you get that? Okay!" rambled the map.

The map jumped toward the screen and disappeared. After blinking at how random that was, just right after** one blink**, all you see is Dora.

"Where do we have to go?" asked Dora.

She points at the three squares that appear in front of her, but is **not** actually looking at it.

"Huh? Oh! First, we go through the **labyrinth, **then down the **raging rapids, **and finally we'll get to the **Garden of Chocolate, Nuts, and Bananas!**"

Sora and Kairi stared at Dora in amazement (maybe because her stupidity...), but before any of them could comment, Riku reacted first.

"That was _completely_ different from what that talking piece of paper just said!" he yelled, pointing at Dora.

"…It's called a map, Riku." corrected Kairi.

"Whatever! How'd she come up with that?"

"Maybe she's got some kinda mind connection with the map. How did that saying go? 'Great minds think alike' I think." suggested Sora.

"It's a PIECE OF PAPER! That thing _has_ the ability to talk but it doesn't say anything that makes sense!" said Riku.

Sora patted Riku's shoulder. "Nobody's perfect, Riku."

"C'mon guys! Let's go! We need to get to The Garden of Chocolate, Nuts, and Bananas!"

Dora walked off, being trailed by a trio of bugs that _just happen_ to carry instruments.

"This world is weird, Sora…" sighed Riku. Unfortunately, Sora wasn't really paying attention. This was evident when...

"I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THEIR LANGUAGE! WHAT DOES BUENO MEAN?" asked Sora frantically with a wide-eyed expression on his face.

"Riku! The **flower** speaks Spanish! Judging by Sora's reaction, he tried to communicate with them." Kairi said in her usual happy manner.

Riku approached Sora and watched as Sora was attempting to talk with plants that happen to smile a lot.

"Boku wa Nihongo ga dekimasen!"

"Sora, that's Nihongo..."

"I don't speak Mexican, Riku!"

"Idiot, Mexican's not a language."

"Hindi ako marunong magsalita ng Tagalog!"

"Try again, Sora."

"No hable... Ingles!"

"Almost..."

"Uh… I CAN'T SPEAK MEXICAN!"

"Sora, just give it up… Or you can continue and I'll see if you're a bigger idiot than Dora."

"Riku! You said a bad word! I'm telling Kairi!"

"What did I say?"

"You said idiot!"

"Sora! You said a bad word! I'm telling Kairi!"

"Hey, you tricked me! I'm going to knock down your paopu tree when we get ba--

But then Sora was interrupted by a…

"Buenas dias!"

"What does that mean, Riku?"

"I have no idea…"

"Talking plant! I told you I can't speak Mexican!"

"Excellentè!"

"Sora, what do you think _that_ meant?"

"I don't know!"

**End of the first chapter.

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**

Yeah. I'll end it here first. Dora's getting on my nerves… I apologize at how much little sense I made. It's all Dora's fault. Blame her. Oh, I also apologize if since my English is bad… o.o For the other languages like Spanish and Tagalog, I got them off language books or friends. xD In the next chapter, Sora might even speak Korean or some other language!

Suggestions are always welcome!

- Lee


End file.
